By Samantha Samel
Brooklyn Daily Eagle
Whether you’re an obsessive cleaner, a germaphobe, or somewhat of a slacker in the cleanliness department, you’ve most likely encountered some confusion when attempting to clean the long-accumulating or sudden messes that inevitably creep into the corners (or right out in the open) in your home.
But fear not: there’s now a practical and hilarious guide — written by Jolie Kerr, author of Deadspin’s and Jezebel’s popular “Ask A Clean Person” column — to help with any and all of your bizarre or mundane cleaning inquiries. In “My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag…And Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha” (a Plume original, on sale Feb. 25), Kerr confronts the issues so commonplace you’re too afraid to ask about because you think you should know the answer…and the not-so-normal household emergencies you might stumble upon unexpectedly.
Kerr’s consistent humor makes often-dreaded household chores seem…well, not necessarily fun…but not quite as daunting as we might imagine them to be. Among her tips are:
Set aside 1-3 hours of your day! Kerr writes, “Did you just do a double take? Yeah, I know. Sorry about that! But these things take time! However, the more often you clean, the less time it will take, which probably doesn’t make you feel any better at all. What can I say, I tried.”
Put on music! “The biggest mistake people make when setting out to tackle their chores is forgetting to put on music. It’s basically the same theory behind listening to music at the gym: it gets you moving, perks you up, provides a rhythm to work along to,” Kerr suggests.
How to Clean a Toilet Brush: “It’s funny to imagine the look on a person’s face when it occurs to them that they’ve never cleaned the thing they use to clean the other things in their home […] spray the brush down with the disinfecting spray of your choice […] rinse the brush under the hot water […] maybe when you’re done with that, think about cleaning the tub. You’re doing that regularly anyway, right? RIGHT?? Right.”
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Kerr will share her knowledge and celebrate the book’s launch at the powerHouse Arena in DUMBO on Feb. 26. The event begins at 7 p.m. The powerHouse Arena is located at 37 Main St. in DUMBO.